Blog

Feeling Your Feelings

Being strong does not mean not feeling bad or crying. Being brave doesn’t mean not feeling scared or nervous. Being a good person doesn’t mean not feeling irritated or angry. It actually takes courage to be honest with ourselves about our feelings.

Feelings are mostly involuntary. We enjoy some feelings and we don’t like to feel others. Feelings are not facts, so they can’t be debated. Some feelings remind us that we have healing to do from something in the past, some are about what’s happening now, and some are about the future. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell when or where our feelings are coming from. When you think you are feeling something ‘for no reason’……that just means the reason (the when or where the feelings are coming from) isn’t clear to you yet. That’s alright. You still get to feel it and be kind to yourself.

It’s ok to feel all of your feelings. You can feel and express sad, angry, and frustrated feelings without hurting anyone. You can express love and affection toward others and pride in yourself even if you aren’t used to doing that.

Feel your feelings. Feelings themselves are not dangerous, but the things we do to avoid, stop, or project them on to others can be. Feelings do not stay the same or last forever.

If there is someone you trust to share your feelings, you can ask them to just listen without trying to agree with or change your feelings (this is difficult for lots of people, but they can get better at it with practice).

Writing your feelings down and being your own compassionate listener can be a safe way to process your feelings.

Cry and laugh when you have the urge and are in a safe place to do so. Make art to express things in ways that words cannot. Take slow breaths to help you get centered and re-connect with yourself. Be kind to yourself- always. The more often you take time to feel, accept, and process your feelings, the easier it will become and the safe it will fell. It will also get easier to make healthy decisions about your life and have satisfying relationships with other people.